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ISIS has a glossy annual report to help it recruit well qualified terrorists

This whole Iraq, ISIS screw up never ceases to amaze me. It’s a foreign policy disaster like no other, that not only has serious destabilising implications on the region, but is also quirky and bizarre beyond rational belief. Just when you think the new and improved al-Qaeda 2.0 couldn’t get weirder, this comes up from Zerohedge:

In a day and age in which corporations rule the world, the brutal Al-Qaeda spin off known as ISIS is learning from the best, and as part of its credentialising and image-building has done something only major corporations do at the end of every year: it has issued annual reports for the past 2 years (unaudited, unless Ernst & Young has quietly upgraded from “massaging” the books for Lehman’s Repo 105 and, of course, the New York Fed, without our knowledge).

That’s right: as the FT reported earlier, “Since 2012 the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant, (known as Isis) has issued annual reports, outlining in numerical and geographical detail its operations – the number of bombings, assassinations, checkpoints, suicide missions, cities taken over and even “apostates” converted to the Isis cause.”

Yeah, you read that correctly. ISIS has a nice, glossy colored annual report auditing all their bombings, murders, suicide missions etc. Big Fortune 500 companies focus on revenues, net income and EBITA, while ISIS prefers to measure its “corporate” success on these yearly milestones:

In 2013 alone, the group’s report claimed nearly 10,000 operations in Iraq: 1,000 assassinations, 4,000 improvised explosive devices planted and hundreds of radical prisoners freed. In the same year it claimed hundreds of “apostates” had been turned.
Wait… are you serious?

So while Obama and his staff are unable to take action due to the lack of intelligence on ISIS and their operations we thought we would help out a bit. Here is their annual report in full, along with some key reports that just may help Kerry and Co. formulate a more appropriate foreign policy response to the upstart startup known as ISIS.

Rumor has it that they are also in Silicon Valley looking to close a Series A round of investment from top tier Venture Capital groups. iPhone and Android mobile app is coming soon as well.

Isis Annual Report 2013

ISIS report 2012_0

ISIS report 2013_0

References:
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2014-06-17/isis-stunner-terrorist-organizations-annual-reports-unveiled-reveal-full-investment-

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