This weekend saw a lot of up voting, down voting and commenting on reddit regarding the now famous “spreadsheet husband.”
The backstory TL;DR goes like this:
A reddit user (the wife) posted a thread on /r/relationships about her how her husband had sent a rude and argumentative email right before she was on her way to the airport for a 10-day work trip. The email also contained a spreadsheet documenting (over seven weeks) all the times the husband tried to have sex with his wife and got rejected.
The full reddit post is here:
My husband [M26] and I [F26] have been together for 5 years, married for 2 of those years. We just bought a house 5 months ago. No kids yet. Our lives have been crazy busy though. We spent all spring renovating our new house. At my job I was given nearly double my usual workload after some of my colleagues were laid off. I gained some weight in the winter and have been busting my ass at the gym to get rid of it.
Yesterday morning, while in a taxi on the way to the airport, Husband sends a message to my work email which is connected to my phone. He’s never done this, we always communicate in person or by text. I open it up, and it’s a sarcastic diatribe basically saying he won’t miss me for the 10 days I’m gone. Attached is a SPREADSHEET of all the times he has tried to initiate sex since June 1st, with a column for my “excuses”, using verbatim quotes of why I didn’t feel like having sex at that very moment. According to his ‘document’, we’ve only had sex 3 times in the last 7 weeks, out of 27 “attempts” on his part.
This is a side of him I have never seen before – bitter, immature, full of hatred. In person, he’d been acting normal the whole time, maybe a little standoff-ish in the last week. Completely out of left field. Our sex life HAS tapered in the last few months, but isn’t that allowed? We are adults leading busy, stressful lives. I cook for him, I do his laundry, I keep our house clean and tidy. It’s not like our sex life was going to be this way FOREVER, it was a temporary slow-down due to extenuating circumstances.
I immediately tried phoning him 3-4 times before getting on the plane – no answer. When I landed in my destination city, I tried calling 2 more times – no answer. I texted him saying we needed to talk, and he needed to call me at his earliest convenience. No response. He’s never intentionally ignored my communications before. I pretty much stayed inside my hotel all evening waiting by the phone, then cried myself to sleep.
It’s now morning and he still hasn’t contacted me. I am supposed to be out visiting clients for the next 9 days on behalf of my company, and I am an emotional wreck. Why is he putting me through this? What the hell am I supposed to do?
A screenshot of the original post and the spreadsheet below. This documentation of his wife’s multiple rejections should serve as a wake up call for this chap to take the red pill and get out of beta male despair.
The zinger in the husband’s email is when he says he ‘won’t miss his wife for the next 10 days,’ and then goes dark.…wife cannot track him down.
This comment from a reddit user best sums up this man’s actions:
I’m not exaggerating when I say that anyone with a semblance of and understanding of how relationships work would know that the husband in the situation isn’t after sex anymore. He’s clearly taking a nuclear option. How far he will go down that path is unknown. But it’s clear that his goal isn’t to convince his wife to fuck him by sending her a spreadsheet.
That explains the whole situation perfectly. The husband ran out of runway, so he simply blew the shit up…he went nuclear on the relationship. The reddit commenter continues to relay some insight on the whole affair…
The red pill truth is that he is a beta. He is already unattractive because he is unable to get sex from his wife. People aren’t stupid. Women especially. Even more so women that have been with lots of men.
They connect the dots. Regardless of if they are thinking about it at the forefront of their mind, or subconsciously.
The fact that he cannot get sex from his wife often implies many things. Selection bias comes in to play. On top of that, women are biologically constructed machines aimed at surviving and producing offspring. They will smell his SMV [Sexual Market Value] from a mile away.
Take a look at how they described him. His wife described the email that he wrote as a sarcastic diatribe, and described him as bitter, immature, and full of hatred. /u/LittleMissP described him as beyond pathetic.
For what? He bought a house with her, he has a job, he doesn’t hit her, he doesn’t call her names, he doesn’t abuse her.
Bottom line is that the ‘nice guy’ lie is exactly that, a big fucking lie.
Throughout our life we are taught to work hard, get a house, keep a 9 to 5 job and be the good husband…rewards will follow. The ‘nice guy’ approach in today’s feminist world is code for resource provider, a chump. Today’s women is not sexually attracted to the ‘nice guy’, she is however attracted to the resources he provides.
Actions not words. The husband in this post was told many things that lead him to his loveless marriage. It was only when he started tracking his wife’s actions towards his sexual advances that he realised the simple truth.
From the same reddit commenter…
Be very careful with these people that subscribe to the ideology of verbal communication for everything. Non-verbal communication is just that, non-verbal communication. The wife has communicated that she really couldn’t give a flying fuck about her husband’s sexual satisfaction.
God forbid that you feel a little bitter that your whole life you were told that love triumphs all. That something like this could never happen if you had a job, got a house with your wife, didn’t abuse her or anything like that. You did nothing wrong, you did everything according to the way society told you that you should do it, and now you’re in a sexless marriage.
This is actually the man’s first step into dark territory. This is the first time that he has stepped out and done something against what society told him was the right thing to do. This is the first step that he took into potentially leading a red pill life. He knew the societal repercussions and he still took that step.